Day Twenty-one

Back to yoga for the first time since Thursday. On Thursday instead of the kick-ass Jude I had the substitute Val. It is important to note that in this context the term "kick-ass" means Jude tries to make you cry. Referring to Val as not an ass kicker just means you can walk out of her class, it is not an insult. On Tuesday I had Val instead of the kick-ass Rebecca. In case you missed it, Tuesday marked the summer solstice. There is a good chance that the only thing you cared about was the fact that it meant it was light out until 9 PM. If you are a yogi then this is an opportunity for you to meditate upon the brightness the sun brings into the world. For the rest of us this means we have to listen to our yoga instructor blather on about the light within us. This should not be taken as an indication that I did not enjoy the class. I walked in ready to pass out on my feet and walked out ready to pass out on my feet, but in between I had a damned good time.

Instructor: Val
Pain level: Orange
Highlight of the class: Passing out clean in savasana. Fuck all that you hold holy but I love me a good sleep.
Favorite posture: A series of sun salutations (Surya Namaskara). This was a great way to invigorate the body.
Least favorite posture: Savasana. I know, I know, it was the highlight of the class when I passed out during meditation, but Val kept droning on and on about the light outside representing the light within and every time she talked I woke back up. I love sleeping but I HATE waking up.

Day Fourteen

Sometimes a class is exactly what you need. We started the class in elevated savasana with a blanket folded up beneath our spines so we could get some opening through our abdomens. Blah, blah, blah. There is a lot of meditation involved in yoga. This is not a skill I possess. You are supposed to release your day at the door and take deep breaths while concentrating on the practice. During these times I usually try not to think about boobs because boners are hard to hide in mesh shorts, especially when you are laying on your back. This time I noticed a feeling of drunkenness. I closed my eyes and the room started spinning. Obviously I am not drinking before these classes as I am taking it a little more seriously than that, but I have not been sleeping as well as I would have hoped and it is taking its toll. Rebecca took requests at the beginning of class and based on customer input worked the back quite a bit. This meant a lot of long holds in various twisted positions. This is a long-winded way of saying my head was spinning, I had a lot of baggage from lack of sleep and actually attempting to work at work, and this class focused me right up.

Instructor: Rebecca
Pain level: Orange
Highlight of the class: Rebecca tried to carry about 37 blocks (estimated) and they inevitably tumbled to the ground. There is something comedic about incredibly coordinated people looking as clumsy as I do on an every day basis.
Favorite posture: Savasana. When your head is spinning and your eyes are heavy and you have not even taken the simplest of drugs laying in stillness is a wonderful release.
Least favorite posture: None. I loved this class. I am sure there was something I grimaced through at the time, but the feeling of relaxation and comfort when I walked out made it all worth it.

Day Twelve

Man was I in a bad mood heading into this class. Once again I failed to get enough sleep the night before. Therefore I slept later, I had to mainline some coffee and barely drank any water before class. This time I ended up in a much better mood at the end of class; relaxed, refreshed, and ready to face my day. I think yoga makes me peaceful.

Instructor: Sushma
Pain level: Orange
Highlight of the class: It sounded like someone had a sex dream during savasana. I know you are not supposed to pay attention to what other yogis are doing during this period of meditation, but Sushma woke us up pretty quickly once the moaning started.
Favorite posture: Once again I came up with nothing. It was a great class though. Great for a Sunday morning.
Least favorite posture: Ardha dhanurasana (half bow). Nothing like a violent hamstring cramp to start your practice. I might not be open enough for this posture yet.

Day One

Thanks to 90 degree humid weather outside and a neighboring power yoga class, the yoga bomb started off with a bang. Hahahaha oh man that is good stuff right there. Seriously though, it was fucking hot. The sweat started pouring during kapalabhati breathing and continued long after savasana ended. It felt a little like a power class instead of all levels although it is possible my "yoga shape"could best be described as "abysmal". Is abysmal a shape? Fuck you! All in all it was a solid class that featured several moments when I did not regret my decision to drop a yoga bomb on myself.

Instructor: Matt
Pain level: Yellow
Highlight of the class: Falling on my head attempting to reach crow posture
Favorite posture: Kakasana (crow) obviously. Grievous head injuries make everything better.
Least favorite posture: Everything that involved kneeling and sitting on my heels. Some of us cannot straighten our feet and that shit feels like I am breaking my ankles.