Here is the thing. When you end up at a wedding where one of the key members (aka the groom) met a guy at a Renaissance Faire while dressed as an ogre (aka Shrek) then weird shit may happen. For example, there might be a circus performer and his wife and they might ask for volunteers from the crowd. You might volunteer thinking you will get to have sex with the wife. In this case since you obviously do not have sex with the wife you face the possibility of ending up in a human table. Boy I was hoping that would lead to pictures of underage people. Anyway this happened and as you can imagine when holding the person in your lap with nothing but lower body and core strength, you want a fully functional abdomen. Oh well, at least I had the best looking member of the human table in my lap? She was cute so I can count that as sex, right? After this the drive home was more painful. At least the wine was good and I flipped off the camera man.
Instructor: Bill
Pain level: Orange
Highlight of the class: The bride's boobs falling out of her strapless dress. It is important to note that this might have only happened in my mind.
Favorite posture: Watching the circus performers with a bottle of champagne in my hand that no one felt obligated to remove.
Least favorite posture: The human table, despite the presence of a female in my lap.
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